MRS Scotland Annual Burns Supper
17 February 2009, Edinburgh
AN UNREPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE
By Hugh Hoffman
I’ve done interviewing on the buses
And I’ve done interviewing on the trains
There’s telephone and post and the one I love the most
Street interviewing in the rain
I’m an unrepresentative sample, broken down by sex and age
I’ve stood on windy corners and accosted
A good cross section of the populace
Their faces I will scan and if I spot a nice young man
I always try to grab him just in case
I’m an unrepresentative sample, broken down by sex and age
Some people think that I am selling timeshare
Or collecting for a dodgy charity
I’ve been approached by thugs who think I’m pushing drugs
They must be even bigger dopes than me
I’m an unrepresentative sample, broken down by sex and age
I’ve done surveys on detergents
And I’ve asked questions about cars
It gave me quite a thrill to ask a Yank named Bill
All about his usage of cigars
I’m an unrepresentative sample, broken down by sex and age
I always work within the Code of Conduct
When interviewing guests in their hotels
It really is essential to keep it confidential
So if we kiss you know I’ll never tell
I’m an unrepresentative sample, broken down by sex and age
For thirty years I’ve been an interviewer
For thirty years I’ve probed and I’ve explored
The technique recommended is to keep it open ended
While the poor respondent squirms upon the floor
I’m an unrepresentative sample, broken down by sex and age
Now I’m hanging up my laptop and my clipboard
My thank-you notes, my I.D. card as well
No more rush to beat the clock till my quotas interlock
At last I’ve rung my final front door bell
I’m an unrepresentative sample, broken down by sex and age
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